“I wonder if I chose the wrong career…”

“Please help me, I feel overwhelmed…”

“So… what do I do now?”

I wasn’t a coach then, but after I published two career guidebooks, I received emails from twenty-somethings lamenting how lost or confused they were. I responded by offering advice, but now that I’m a certified coach, I learned better ways of helping early-career employees, i.e., recent college graduates and new in the workforce.

I’ll get to those better ways later, but first let me comment on a popular notion. It’s commonly held that today’s millennial and Gen Z have difficulty adjusting to the workplace is because they are self-absorbed and entitled. I protest this as stereotyping because as a boomer who got my first job back in 1984 (I’m feeling Jurassic already), I felt the same gnawing disconnect and a crying need for guidance. My own experience and that of others’ teach me that it’s more of a culture change issue.

When we were at college, we pretty much knew what to do and what was expected of us. Structure was set through a curriculum and a set of class schedules. Answers were usually right versus wrong and had to be consistent with textbooks or what the professor said.  Performance lapses could be made up with remedial class or even shifting courses altogether. 

But in the “real world”, structure is not always evident. While the newly hired gets to know about the organizational structure, policies and procedures, and job description, he or she would quickly learn that there are unwritten rules, informal leaders, and multitasking galore. Answers were not always clear cut: the boss will not always hand them to you. You grapple with uncertainty, you try to decipher an ambiguous message, you yearn for immediate feedback but are not getting any.  Performance lapses can damage the company (say, you mishandled a customer or a machine) and also your reputation (“Why were you fired from Company X?”). There are no make-up classes to go to. Talk about pressure!

Coaching can help such people who are transitioning from campus to cubicle. Core competencies as laid out by the International Coaching Federation (ICF) can impart powerful benefits. These include being present, evoking awareness, and facilitating learning and growth. Here are three distinct ways coaching can help people at this starting phase of their careers.

Self-awareness. When new-to-workforce people express angst like we’ve read above, my personal opinion is that they don’t know what they really want. They may not even really know themselves. By definition, they have not lived life that long enough yet. Maybe they accepted the first offer they received even if they’re not 100% sure. Maybe they weren’t aware of opportunities elsewhere. Or if there were under parental or peer pressure.

College has a way of focusing one’s attention on the external (the knowledge to be accumulated, the extracurricular activities, the job hunt that comes after the diploma) rather than the internal (Who am I? What really matters? What areas of my life need attention?).  Then when faced with the unsettling reality of, say, a difficult boss or office bully, they need someone to help them process their thoughts and emotions. That’s why questions such as “What is important to you?”, “What motivates you?” or “What does job satisfaction look like for you?” are quite apt for these people. They may even lead them to see a bigger picture or think long-term.

Self-confidence. I recall stories of how someone was top dog at the campus, only to have his self-esteem pummeled when his employer tells him he’s basically nothing: no experience, no track record, no reputation. Unless one is gifted with, say, street smarts or a healthy ego, imposter’s syndrome can easily set in and the poor fellow dreads the time when he will crash and burn on an assignment.

That’s where it’s powerful if the coach believes in the coachee more than the coachee believes in himself. Such faith may be the lifeline the early-career person needs. When the coachee is asked questions like “What are your options?” or “What skills would you need to…?”, it signals an implicit faith that the coachee is empowered. This, in turn, tends to reduce anxiety and boost self-confidence. Another way is when the coach partners with the coachee on how to reframe failure and negative feedback from a personal blow to a learning opportunity.

If the self-confidence is fragile at first, ICF standards would require the coach to build a safe and supportive space for the coachee to open up and thereby pave the way for breakthrough moments. Who knows? It may be the first time the early-career person has tasted psychological safety. Not from his home, his college, or his employer, but from you. That itself is a valuable gift.

Self-leadership   

Coaching is wrongly understood as giving advice or “fixing” people. I would add that it’s not really about helping the coachee find clarity, insight and answers for a particular issue. A terrific objective of coaching is capacity building:  the coachee acquires a new and expanded way of thinking so that he can navigate through opportunities and challenges even after the coach is no longer around. These include the dismantling of self-limiting beliefs, committing to non-negotiable core values, nurturing a growth mindset, practicing emotional intelligence, staying curious and pro-active, making informed decisions, and more. 

Thus, instead of the early-career employee slipping into the loss frame of awkwardness, coaching would direct him to what are positive and possible.  Coach Kurly suggests “How can I contribute?”, which plants the idea that one can contribute. It’s now a matter of reflection and courage.  And we are not yet talking about coaching the “who” (the coachee) aside from the “what” (the challenge).

A word to the early-career person: 

If there’s a formative time to be coached, it is when you have landed your first job. Don’t wait until you have the money or attained some leadership position before getting a coach. In fact, it may accelerate your career success. If paying fees are an issue, remember that there are coaches who can serve pro bono as part of racking up a certain number of coaching hours to get ICF accreditation.

Conclusion

There are many other issues this article lacks the space to tackle such as communication, networking, accountability, introversion, assertiveness, diversity, stress, conflict, work-life integration, ethics, resilience, and negotiation.  I exclude mental health as I believe these should be referred to a professional therapist, not a coach. These can hound both the rookies and veterans alike, thus coaching is applicable at every part of the career spectrum.

But there is a special place for those who just realized there are things not taught in college textbooks and they have to figure things out all by their lonesome. If you are a trained coach, just think of the alternative reality you will co-create for these up-and-coming people.

Just think of the possibilities.